No Room for Mistakes

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3842cd77b4ac470ff2b6c3789e2043f1 I was meditating the other day, and the idea for a blog came to me: “Write about Making Mistakes” I started thinking about mistakes a few days ago after realizing I made a “bad” choice about something I recently purchased. I won’t go into detail but suffice to say, I paid a lot for something I am barely using. If I had only made a slightly different choice, I would have come home with something better suited for my needs. This is just the sort of “mistake” I am prone to spending lots of time and energy thinking and stressing about after the fact.

What is a mistake? Miriam Webster says, “A misunderstanding. A wrong action or statement proceeding from faulty judgment, inadequate knowledge, or inattention”. I would say that almost all the purchasing mistakes I have made proceed from some combination of these factors, but mainly from inadequate knowledge. I simply did not have all the information I needed and at the time of purchase, did not even know I needed it. So then, if I lacked knowledge, and did not know I needed more information, why would I berate myself later? My belief is that socialization through family, religion, educational institutions that insist on competitive models of learning, through rigorous testing, hard playing, etc. teach us to think and feel that “losing” or getting something “wrong” is sinful or bad. We end up punishing ourselves, through various kinds of obsession and rumination, such as trying to “ undo” or “redo” the situation. Not a great use of energy and time.

Many personal decisions get made based on our faulty judgment or choosing not to face something we don’t want to face. How many of us check in with three practical friends before making some impulsive decision that turns out to have a costly outcome? At the time, we don’t want to see what we don’t want to see. It’s that simple and sometimes that hidden.

And of course, there are “mistakes” made when we’re artistically involved in a project that turn out to be brilliant and unforeseen creations. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Personally, I prefer a life with much experimentation and risk taking because all in all, I enjoy learning from “most of my mistakes.”  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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6 Replies to “No Room for Mistakes”

  1. Hey Yarock,
    This was an awesome piece of writing. It was straight from the heart through your arm and right out on the page. I can see it traveling. So clear, so thoughtful and well said. I clung to every word and now will embrass some of the recent ways in which I’ve been a little harsh on myself and folks around me based on what I considered a mistake. Thanks, my friend for keeping it real. Keep sharing! I grow every time! Patience

    • Patience, i woke up to your message, it really means a lot to me. I respect you so much as a writer and a friend and your comments help me feel stronger..Putting myself out there in print and not knowing who reads what and how they respond is exposing and challenging….I love you.

  2. “My belief is that socialization through family, religion, educational institutions that insist on competitive models of learning, through rigorous testing, hard playing, etc. teach us to think and feel that “losing” or getting something “wrong” is sinful or bad.”

    Deborah, I do think there are unwitting messages people “receive” that are not what the family, religion or educational institution intended to deliver. In fact, a receiving person speaking up about the emotions or inner conflict he or she feels… is EXACTLY what is needed to “complete the feedback loop” in any of these social configurations. Am I pointing to a mistaken summation of the dynamic? Perhaps. It depends not only on the founding intention of the message “deliverer” in particularity, but also on how BIG of an impact the “receiver” can actually have on the larger dynamic. What if a “recipient” person’s speaking from their vulnerability is exactly what’s needed for the growth, maturity, and improvement of the “deliverer”? God uses the weak to lead the strong. What if a strong person with poor intentions… can actually be molded when the offended party speaks from the heart — what if they can rise to the occasion, to the needs of BOTH parties here for ongoing spiritual development?

    Anyway, I was moved to share this, because we have ALL sinned, and this means we have harmed ourselves, others, and our relationship with God/Source/OurCreator. And yet, to reject who we see as the aggressor or oppressor… is to deny oneself the beauty and redemption of growth… the full beauty of the life and relationships our Creator wants for us.

    You and I and many of our friends are enamored with “healing” on many levels. Forgiveness is implied in your blog here… so we will not judge ourselves harshly. Mistakes are made, and they are different than Sins. Sin is when we knowingly disobey something that has been communicated to us (by God, Scripture, Parents, those friends who love us) for our good and the good of others in the community. We give ourselves permission to do something that is wrong — perhaps not fully grasping WHY it is wrong. We may learn from these sins, and we may just see them as mistakes, but I think it’s more accurate/objective and useful to see sins and mistakes in two distinct categories.

    Making a purchase with incomplete info would generally be a simple mistake. Deliberately resisting the info someone gives you from a place of their love for you… in order to just “make your OWN” choice… can reflect the sin of “Pride”, rebellion… which means we elevate ourselves above the appropriate level of humility that would have us receive more love and learn more. We miss out on SO much love by getting into this pride loop. If we were to apply our desire for HEALING in our connections with others, like we value our physical health healing, the WHOLE integrated healing dynamic would take a leap to flight — we would soar together!

    We can learn from mistakes, and we can learn from sins… but we shouldn’t deliberately open up to sin in order to learn. That would be more than a mistake. 😉 We should always be open to making mistakes as we progress along the many paths of our life’s journey — otherwise we will stagnate. And whether that paralysis would be a sin or a mistake… depends on whether we are consciously choosing that path (or the enticements/paybacks along that path).

    Okay, I know you asked for feedback, but maybe not THIS MUCH feedback. Lol.
    Love,
    Tracy

    • Tracy, I was going to include a paragraph on the bottom of my post about the violence people bring upon other humans, animals, and the global environment while knowing full well the implications of their deeds. These acts would not, in my opinion, nor in yours, be considered mistakes..I agree we would all stagnate without being brave enough to make mistakes..Thanks for your response and all the thought and passion that went into it. My best, and warmly, Deborah

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